Never Convince Anyone That They Should Love You

Thought Catalog

I was talking to a girlfriend last night about moving on. Though we never like to phrase it this way, she was looking for affirmation or apology from people who would never give it to her, and when it became clear that she was only going to bang her head against the wall in an attempt to get them to understand or listen to her, she blocked them from her online life and stopped engaging. I told her that this was the right thing to do, that it was a small example of the battles we fight every day to get people to hear us, but I admit that I have a hard time doing it in practice. While I could admire her ability to accept futility and turn away from it — even if she struggles with it, as we all do — I imagine it will be years…

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This Is How You Lose Me

Thought Catalog

The sink is running in the bathroom as I lay naked in bed. You brush your teeth and tousle my hair and tell me, “I’ll see you later, kid.” At your touch I shiver and bury my body under the duvet. As you close the door behind you I realize that my body feels warmer than when you were laying beside me, and for the past few weeks it’s been this way.

You’re going to lose me because I can tell you’ve grown complacent in some ways, and restless in others. We go out to the movies and I glance over and another man’s name is on your phone. You’ve stopped squeezing my hand three times like we practiced when we’re out in public and you want to silently tell me ‘I love you.’

You tell our friends about our future like it is set in stone and I forget…

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im really confused with myself.

i dont really get where its all coming from. normally in situations like this people would just consider it over and done with. especially considering the way he treated me. hes not even doing anything to make me feel like this but its still there. i dont get it. why do i even miss him so much? its not like i see him or even talk to him, that talking doesnt even count as talking. so where the heck is it coming from?

i honestly can’t figure it out…am i just being really lonely? or do i really have real legitimate feelings? because it doesnt make sense…if anyone else treated me this way i would have dropped them in a second. hell, i have done it in the past. so why cant i do it now?

ugh.

nothing makes any freaking sense.

my brain feels like one giant scribble and i cant even think about anything else. i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it.

i just wish it would all go away.

Aside

6 Spoken Word Quotes On Love

Thought Catalog

“Just so you know, my weird mind wanders, and my brave heart breaks. 
I’ve nailed some milestones, but I make mistakes. Because I’ve got more faults than a map of California earthquakes.
 I’m taking a nap beneath your covers.
 Wake me if you like me, wake me if you want me.
 Wake me if you need another poem.
 Your once and future lover has made himself at home.”

-Rives, Kite

“Seems pretty simple.
You wanna get your teeth cleaned for free? 
Date a dentist. 
New addition on the house?
 You should screw an architect. 
But if you need someone to talk dirty to you in bed,
 you better fuck a poet.”

-Rives, Dirty Talk

“She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but, how can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I…

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The Benefit Of The Doubt Is Going Extinct In The Age Of Information

Thought Catalog

Let me break it down for you. If I don’t immediately respond to your text, I am most likely:

A. at work
B. in a meeting
C. spending time with friends
D. getting shot at in Call of Duty, which is not the best time to look at my phone.
E. napping
F. running
G. on the subway
H. in an area that has no service
I.  recharging my dead battery

Any time you find yourself waiting for a text from me, please refer to the list above and assume I’m doing one of these actions. However, I can assure you I’m not doing one of the following:

A. sleeping with someone who is decidedly not you
B. purposely ignoring your text

Why must you assume I’m doing one of these two things? Do you think in binary? You have such a limited imagination. Why can’t you assume I’m actually…

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Meh.

I need a better outlet. My thoughts are so conflicting.

“You have so much love to give.”

“I know. It’s terrible.”

“Why?”

“Because … nobody wants it.”

Aside

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